Safety Planning

It’s important to make and practice plans for leaving your home or other places where violence could occur. Think ahead about ways to leave safely at different times of day—simple excuses like needing diapers, helping a sick friend, or running an errand can help. Prepare yourself and trusted individuals who can assist you if you need to escape quickly.

Practical Steps to Increase Safety:

• Develop signals or codes: Use visual or verbal cues with children or trusted people to indicate danger.
• Identify safe areas: Know which rooms, exits, and phones are safest in your home.
• Keep emergency items ready: Pack a bag with essentials like cash, medications, and important documents.
• Plan your routes: Learn self-defense strategies and map out multiple escape paths from your home or other locations.
• Have your phone accessible: Keep it on you or nearby and add 911 to speed dial.
• Organize keys and personal items: Keep keys, purse, or backpack within reach for a quick exit.
• Prepare your vehicle: Leave your driver’s side door unlocked, other doors locked, and ensure you have gas for a rapid departure.
• Communicate with neighbors: Tell a trusted neighbor you may be at risk and ask them to call the police if they notice suspicious activity. Consider a visual signal, like turning on a light, or a code word for emergencies.
• Have safe havens: Ask a trusted friend or neighbor for a spare key to their home in case you need to leave quickly.
• Protect yourself during an attack: If confronted, curl up and cover your head, neck, and ears.

Remember: You are never alone. While leaving can feel frightening, staying in a shelter is always an option and may be your safest choice—especially if your abuser knows where your trusted friends and family live.

When violence is a risk, your children’s safety is the top priority. It’s important to help them understand that their only job is to protect themselves—they must never try to protect you. Teach them that if they sense danger, they should avoid the room where the abuser is and run to safety, even if it means leaving you behind. This is the safest way they can help.

Other strategies to help children stay safe:

• Identify trusted adults—neighbors, friends, or family—who they can go to in an emergency.
• Practice safety plans regularly, including role-play or “fire escape games” for younger children.
• Develop a code word or signal so they know when it’s time to leave quickly.
• Make sure schools, doctors, childcare providers, and local police know about your situation and have copies of any court orders.
• Teach children who is allowed to pick them up and to report any suspicious activity to you or the authorities.
• If the abuser has legal access to your children, talk to a lawyer about supervised visits or access restrictions.
• Develop individual and group safety plans for visits, including danger cues, escape routes, and safe places to go.
• Teach children important contact information, including home addresses, phone numbers, and trusted adults.
• Consider visual or verbal cues to signal danger, like a specific light being on or off.
• Reach out to shelters or 24-hour crisis lines to find programs for child witnesses of violence—they offer guidance for both children and parents.

When you are planning to leave, it is critical that your abuser does not know about your intentions. Preparation is key—gather essentials so you can leave quickly and safely if needed.

Coordinate your departure safely:

• Contact shelters, trusted friends, or the police to help you leave securely.
• Request a police officer be present when you leave if possible.
• Contact Lanark County Interval House to discuss safe places to go and available resources.

Practical steps to stay safe while preparing:

• Move items out of the home gradually. Prepare excuses like “it’s at the cleaners” or “the pet is at the vet” in case your abuser notices.
• Hide extra keys and money outside the home, with trusted friends or in a safety deposit box.
• Use a phone or computer your abuser cannot access (friend’s device, library, work). Consider blocking outgoing calls with *67.
• Open a bank account your abuser doesn’t know about. Have statements sent to a trusted friend or family member.

Items to take when you leave:

• Personal identification: passports, birth certificate, SIN, driver’s license, OHIP card, immigration papers
• Work permits
• Proof of cohabitation, if possible
• Children’s documents: birth certificates, OHIP cards, school and medical/vaccination records
• Medications for yourself and children
• Money, cheque books, credit cards, ATM cards (record card numbers)
• Bank documents
• Ontario Works identification
• Keys: home, storage, car, work, safety deposit box
• Copies of court orders: restraining orders, peace bonds, custody/access agreements, divorce papers
• Housing and asset documents: lease/rental agreements, deeds, mortgage, insurance policies
• Small valuables and sentimental items: jewelry, favorite toys, blankets, personal mementos
• Address and appointment books
• Electronic storage: computer discs, memory sticks, external hard drives
• Evidence of abuse: photos, journals, or any documentation
• Photo of the abuser (for identification or legal purposes if needed)

Creating a safe and secure home is an important part of protecting yourself and your family. There are many practical steps you can take to reduce risk, prevent unwanted access, and ensure you’re prepared in case of an emergency. Here’s a comprehensive guide to safety planning at home:

Security and Access

• Cancel joint credit cards and bank accounts, and update PIN numbers.
• Become familiar with all entrances and exits in your home.
• Change locks on doors and install deadbolts.
• Lock windows and block sliding doors with a dowel.
• Consider replacing wooden doors with steel or metal doors.
• If you have a balcony, consider adding protective wire.

Emergency Preparedness

• Create an emergency room with a secure lock, a phone, and a chair to prop under the door.
• Keep fuse boxes locked and have battery-powered lanterns.
• Install smoke detectors and fire extinguishers on every floor.
• Install a loud exterior alarm bell that can be manually activated from more than one location.

Home Safety Enhancements

• Install outdoor lighting and porch lights at a height that discourages removal.
• Trim shrubbery and install locks on fence gates.
• Install a security system.
• Install a fisheye peephole in doors so adults and children can see visitors.
• Consider getting a dog for added security.

Communication and Police Support

• Inform your landlord, superintendent, and neighbours that the abuser no longer lives with you, and request that they alert you or the police if he is seen.
• Ask police about available alarms, such as a Domestic Violence Emergency Response System (DVERS).
• Request a free home security evaluation from local police.
• Ask police to create a premise history for your home, work, or school address.
• Ensure your street address is clearly visible and well-lit for emergency responders.

Phone and Contact Safety

• Keep your home and car keys ready.
• Tape emergency numbers to all phones.
• Keep your phone unlisted or remove your address from public listings.
• Use call blocking, call display, call screen, or call trace for harassing or threatening calls.
• Use voicemail to screen private numbers.
• Use an alternate or trusted friend’s phone number when necessary.

Mail and Address Protection

• Use a post office box or trusted friend’s address if you move.
• Ensure phones are connected before moving to a new location.

Personal and Family Safety

• Teach children their own safety plan, including how to contact police or fire services.
• Plan safe places to go if you must leave home, such as friends, neighbours, police stations, or 24-hour stores.
• Only give your contact information to trusted individuals and caution them not to reveal it to anyone else.
• Refuse to give personal information to unknown callers.
• Do not put your name on your mailbox and consider limiting displayed information or parking elsewhere.

Staying safe doesn’t stop at your front door. Planning ahead for situations outside your home can help you protect yourself, your family, and your daily routines. Here are practical steps for staying safe while at work, school, or other public places:

Informing Others

• Tell your boss, security staff, friends, teachers, and co-workers about your situation.
• Provide a picture of the abuser to those who may not recognize them.
• Share a description of the abuser’s car if needed.
• Request that visitors or phone calls to you are screened.
• Request changes to your work or study hours, or rotate shifts if possible.
• Arrange to never work or study alone, or during off-hours.
• Issue a trespass notice via registered mail for your workplace if necessary.

Routes, Transportation, and Parking

• Avoid places your abuser knows about.
• Change your route to regularly visited locations.
• Carpool or travel with a friend whenever possible.
• Change where you park to a safer area, and avoid spots with identifying information.
• Have someone accompany you to your car.
• Keep your car doors locked at all times and have your keys ready.
• Do not turn off your car alarm until you are near the car.
• Consider using a car the abuser will not recognize or swapping cars with a friend.

Public Spaces and Personal Awareness

• Use alternate entrances and exits at familiar locations.
• Stay alert to anyone following you or other suspicious activities.
• Plan safe places to go along your usual routes, such as police stations, fire stations, hospitals, or busy stores.
• If followed while in your car, stay inside, sound your horn, and flash your lights until help arrives.
• If followed on foot, go to a location where people are present.
• Avoid travelling alone and avoid secluded areas.
• Carry a working cell phone and a personal alarm. Keep your phone number private.
• Change your usual destinations, such as grocery stores, banks, and gyms, and vary the times you visit them.

Public Transit Safety

• Sit near the driver.
• Change the routes you take or the stops where you get on or off.
• Travel with a friend whenever possible.

Safety Planning for Confrontations

• Make plans in advance for how you will respond if confronted by the abuser in public.
• Ask friends, neighbours, or co-workers to call 911 if they see the abuser near you.

Navigating court orders and police involvement can feel overwhelming, but planning ahead helps you stay informed and protected. Here are practical steps to consider:

Managing Court Orders

• Know what personal information the abuser can access via court orders and request removal wherever possible.
• Keep multiple copies of all court orders—on your person and in safe locations.
• Share copies with local police, workplaces, schools, and places you frequently visit.
• Give copies to your children’s schools and inform trusted friends, neighbours, or co-workers about the orders, providing a picture or description of the abuser and their vehicle.
• Contact your lawyer, police, or local shelters for guidance on understanding and enforcing court orders.

Reporting and Documentation

• Notify police of every court order infraction and request an occurrence report number.
• Report criminal harassment and keep a detailed journal of all contact from the abuser, including dates, times, locations, events, and witnesses.
• Call 911 immediately if you, your children, or family members are threatened or harmed.

Staying Informed About Charges and Custody

• If the abuser is charged, ask police whether they will be held in custody or released, and provide input on release conditions.
• Stay updated on release conditions through police, Victim/Witness Assistance Programs, or Victim Support Lines.
• Report violations of release conditions to police immediately if your safety is at risk.

Working with Police and Victim Services

• Ask for the occurrence report number each time you make a report.
• If the abuser hasn’t been charged, contact the domestic violence unit or an investigator to understand potential charges—your identity can remain private if needed.
• If the abuser is a police officer, contact a different police service for assistance.
• Request police recommendations for home alarms or access to systems like the Domestic Violence Emergency Response System (DVERS).
• Ask police to create a premise history on your home, work, or school addresses, including descriptions of the abuser, known weapons, or history of violence.
• Request free home security checks from police.

Advocating for Yourself

• Bring a support person to meetings with investigators if desired.
• If unsatisfied with police responses, ask to speak to a supervisor or contact Professional Standards.
• Reach out to shelters or 24-hour support lines for guidance on court orders, police involvement, and navigating the criminal justice system.

Emotional safety is just as important as physical safety. Taking steps to care for your mental health can help you feel more supported, resilient, and in control.

Building Support Networks

• Get involved in community activities to reduce isolation.
• Join a support group to connect with others and strengthen relationships.
• Spend time with people who make you feel good and provide support.
• Invite a trusted support person to attend critical meetings with you.

Self-Care and Stress Management

• Take time to read, meditate, play music, or engage in other activities you enjoy.
• Participate in social activities like movies, dinners, or exercise.
• Prioritize sleep, nutrition, and overall health.
• Limit appointments to one per day to avoid overbooking and stress.
• Prepare emotionally before stressful situations, such as meetings with lawyers or court appearances.

Personal Growth and Empowerment

• Consider part-time work or school to reduce isolation, build skills, and improve finances.
• Join a health club or start an exercise program to boost energy and well-being.
• Practice creativity and activities that make you feel good.
• Write daily personal affirmations or positive statements about yourself.

Healthy Coping Strategies

• Avoid excessive alcohol, food, shopping, or impulsive spending.
• Accept that it’s normal to feel anger, and find positive ways to express it constructively.

Technology can help you stay connected, but it can also be used to monitor or harass. Planning ahead ensures your digital life is safer and more private.

Internet Safety

• Use a secure computer or device when seeking help—libraries, community centres, or a trusted friend’s device.
• Create new email and messaging accounts using non-identifying names.
• Regularly update your device’s operating system, apps, and antivirus software.
• Learn about spyware, phishing, and how attackers can track activity.
• Search your name online (in quotation marks) to see what information is publicly visible.
• Avoid opening attachments or clicking links from unknown sources or the abuser.
• Use private browsing or incognito modes to limit history tracking; clear cache and history regularly.
• Be cautious about what you write in emails, chats, or posts; once sent online, messages may be archived or recoverable.
• Frequently change passwords and PINs for email, online banking, and voicemail.

Social Media Safety

• Log out after each session and disable “stay logged in” options.
• Avoid linking accounts across platforms (e.g., Instagram, Facebook, Twitter).
• Review and tighten privacy settings: control who can see, tag, or find you.
• Enable “approve tags/posts before they appear” and remove old tags.
• Use generic photos and, if necessary, a pseudonym.
• Report harmful content and use blocking/unfriending tools to prevent harassment.

Mobile Device Safety

• Switch off location tracking (GPS) on smartphones, tablets, and smartwatches.
• Use a separate or temporary phone for sensitive calls or escape planning.
• Regularly review and delete call, message, and app histories.
• Avoid sharing sensitive information over apps that are easily accessible.

Telephone and Communication

• Trace harassing calls using call trace (*57 in most areas).
• Block your number when calling (*67 in most areas).
• For TTY users, delete stored conversation histories.
• Prefer corded phones over cordless or smart speakers for sensitive conversations.
• Limit baby monitor use or smart home devices that could be overheard.

Fax and Paper Communication

• Call recipients before sending a fax; ask them to remove headers or cover pages containing your personal information.