IS IT ABUSE?
Recognizing abuse can be difficult, but is an important first step in getting help.
We’ve put together a list of the 9 most common types of abuse that occur. However, abusive actions can go beyond this list, so don’t discount it just because you don’t see it here. Click here for a more complete list, and don’t hesitate to contact us if you’re not sure!
Remember, a single act may not be abuse, but if someone is doing something to harm or control you…then, YES, it is abuse. You have the right to be treated with respect and to feel safe in and out of your home. Contact us if you have any questions, no matter how big or small.
THE 9 TYPES OF ABUSE:
Emotional/Psychological/Verbal Abuse
- overpowering your emotions
- insisting on always getting his own way
- putting you on a pedestal, unrealistic expectations
- coming home drunk or stoned or not coming home at all
- denying or taking away your responsibilities
- demanding an accounting of your time/routine
- not supporting you or helping out with the baby or children
Social Abuse
- controlling what you do, who you see, who you talk to, what you read, where you go
- changing his personality when around others
- not giving you space or privacy
- assaulting you in front of the children*
- threatening to abduct the children or telling you you’ll never get custody
- not showing up on time to pick up children or not having them back on time (during separation or divorce)
Sexual Abuse
- any unwanted sexual contact*
- knowingly transmitting sexual diseases*
- displaying pornography that makes you feel uncomfortable
- making degrading sexual comments in public
- purposely not washing and expecting sex
- forcing you to shave your pubic hair*
- total lack of intimacy
- insisting on checking your body for sexual contact
Religious Abuse
(only effective if your religion is important to you)
- using religion to justify abuse or dominance
- mocking your beliefs
- requiring sex acts or drug use as religious acts
- using you, then demanding forgiveness
Ritual Abuse
(usually done by satanic or so-called Christian cults)
- mutilating you or animals*
- suggesting or promoting suicide
- forcing you to watch or participate in rituals
Physical Abuse
- any unwanted physical contact*
- spitting on you*
- squeezing your hand or twisting your arm*
- denying or restricting your food or drink
- standing too close/intimidating you
- hiding or withholding your necessary medication
- when pregnant punching your abdomen*
- force feeding you*
Technology Abuse
- making threats via electronic communication
- sending you links with disturbing contents
- posting inflammatory/false info or private photos on the web
- put-downs/insults via electronic communication
- cutting off/limiting electronic communication
- obtaining account numbers and passwords via kids
- discrediting you to kids via electronic communication
- tracking/recording your activities & communications, using phone taps, bugs, web/spy cams, GPS or other tech devices
- continually texting, emailing, phoning you, interacting via social networking sites etc.
- tracking/manipulating your financial accounts online, preventing you from gaining access
Environmental Abuse
- throwing out or destroying your possessions*
- punching walls, destroying furnishings
- harming animals*
- grabbing the steering wheel while you’re driving
- preventing you from using a vehicle by tampering with the engine, chaining the steering wheel, taking the keys etc.
Financial Abuse
- stealing your belongings, money*
- not paying fair share of bills, refusing to pay bills
- keeping family finances a secret
- sabotaging your efforts to attain economic freedom
- destroying your school work
*marks illegal behaviour
For a more complete list of types of abuse, click here. You may also be interested in the Wheel of Violence (also on that page is the Wheel of Nonviolence with examples of a healthy, equal relationship).
If you are experiencing abuse, please do not hesitate. Call us on our 24 hour Crisis Line: 1-800-267-7946