I have worked at Lanark County Interval House & Community Support for thirty years and throughout that period there have been lots of changes!
I have always been interested in women’s issues and having grown up in a home where my father was very abusive to my mother, I’m particularly focused on breaking the cycle. My mum lived most of her adult life isolated from family, careful to maintain an outside face – as did I. She left my father after twenty-five years of marriage because she found support.
I wanted other women to experience that support too.
In 1988 I answered an ad for a relief position as a counsellor at Interval House and was thrilled to be hired. My training was short – but other, more experienced staff were always available for advice and debriefing.
We functioned as a collective. It was a small group of fascinating women with loud, clear voices. That sometimes, no, often, made for “interesting” meetings with vocal clashes of opinion. Nevertheless, the optics discussed were fascinating and groundbreaking – ranging from how to treat our residents, limits and boundaries in assisting policies inquiries, educating the judicial body in domestic violence, anti racism/sexism, women’s right to choose… the list was (and still is) endless.
The collective voted on all issues. We hired, trained, counselled, advocated, recorded and fundraised. It was a lot to do and gradually staff specialized in their preferred areas. At that time, after long deep and at times controversial discussion, we decided to become a modified collective and hired our first coordinator. Her name was Joan Gawn. She was rooted in feminism, gifted at both discussion and persuasions. She guided the shelter through many transitions, hired our first Community Support staff, Donna Johnston, another fabulous woman with a great thirst for change and the strength and ability to push for it.
Our Public Education staff was also pivotal in developing our service. Fern Martin was full of heart, but also full of fire. Our services became more well known and slowly change happened.
Meanwhile, I began working part-time and like many women, juggled work with home life and two kids. I was forever thankful that I worked in a place that recognized the reality of women’s roles and accommodated for individual’s needs. We had job sharing, part-time work and flexible hours, outside of making sure the shelter was staffed 24/7.
Throughout the next twenty years we continued to grow and change. At one time staff went on strike – a tumultuous time that tested our assumptions and values. Our structure changed, but our focus remained staunchly pro-women. The focus was always on helping women feel safe, helping them grow in confidence, helping them learn new skills, helping them parent on their own and helping them become more confident in their own choices.
And, while I was doing that, I also grew in confidence and ability. I cheered when a woman gave me the first smile of relief. I sat with her when she cried, and when she vented her anger. I acknowledged how she missed her abuser, he was not always mean and she grieved her hopes for a loving relationship.
I also cleaned clogged toilets, made innumerable beds, washed walls and helped cook meals. Played with kids, rocked babies to sleep and sat with teens. We would watch TV together or listen to our favourite songs. Even now, all these years later, our staff do all these same things.
Moving forward to a more recent past, our service blossomed. Our Community Support services included a sexual assault counsellor, a children’s worker and staff that helped women transition in and out of the shelter. Our volunteer base increased and our donations and funding improved which allowed our services to be less precarious. We hired an Executive Director, Erin Lee, another dynamo rooted in feminist principles, who, to this day, directs the path this agency takes. A vocal and respectful voice in the community for our women and children, a woman skilled in multitasking and juggling. Another admirable woman.
So, to the present. My daughters are now independent young women who I am so very proud of. In my personal life I feel as if I have been able to move us from a place of fear to one of strength.
When I heard that the agency was going to hire a Residential Shelter Manager, I felt it was the right time and the right fit for me. After a couple of kind but gruelling interviews, I was offered the position which I started at the beginning of 2019, our 40th year providing service to the women of Lanark County.
So far I have received wonderful support and encouragement from all the staff and am learning new skills and (hopefully) giving back some of the benefits of my own experience.
Work is not always rosy; there are conflicts between residents and between staff. There are times when we mourn the deaths of women at the hand of their abusers. There are fears when women return to their partners in hopes they will change. There is frustration with the lack of affordable housing, with the limited resources a woman has to work with once she’s left.
But, the essence of it all is that the women we serve have support, have a safe place to go and have the freedom and right to make their own choices and be in control of their lives.
My mum would be proud of us all.
In solidarity,
Jean, Shelter Manager
Throughout our 40th year we will be posting stories from some of the women (and men) who have made Lanark County Interval House & Community Support what it is today. These stories are important. Not only do they illustrate the growth of our agency, they connect us with the strength and determination of the women who have come before us; they connect us to the both the pain and triumph that is a part of the work we do. Being an activist and working for change in society is incredibly difficult but when we can see that we are a part of something bigger and that we are indeed changing the lives of women, children and men, we can stand up and do it again and again, until the work is done. Thank you to every person who has contributed to the last 40 years of Lanark County Interval House & Community Support. There is a lot more work to do and many more stories to be written.
